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I WANT IT ALL

 

 

Iím a man with a one track mind

So much to do in one life time

(people do you hear me)

Not a man for compromise and whereís and whyís and living lies

So Iím living it all

Yes Iím living it all

And Iím giving it all, and Iím giving it all

It ainít much Iím asking, if you want the truth

Hereís to the future, hear the cry of youth

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all and I want it now

 

Sung by: Queen

Lyrics by: Queen

 

 

1984. MONTE CARLO UNDER RAIN

 

When he joined F-1, he chose to join the Toleman team although he was offered better "seats". He signed until 1986. A man would ask himself: why did he choose a losing team when all he wanted were victories? Because he knew that every winning team already has a no.1 driver who would be given all the attention and he would only be in the no.1 driverís shadow. That was not what he wanted. He wanted to be as independent and free as possible to be able to learn undisturbedly and immediately try to use what he learnt without limitations because in his opinion that was the only way one could truly go forward. He explained it later in these words:

 

"My only motivation is to be successful. If I was just driving along with everybody else, then I couldnít justify my job as a racing driver to myself."

 

What that meant was that he didnít want only to protect somebodyís back, but to drive for his own account even in a non-competitive car. And in this particular car, with the assistance of rain, he drove the famous race in Monte Carlo that year. That was the presentation of his potentials which will glow in the future. Even then he made one of the favorites, Alain Prost, very busy. Thanks to Senna and rain, Prost got only 4.5 points in that race and at the end of the season he was lacking only half a point to win the title. I believe that from that moment Senna and rain became synonyms for Prost.

 

 

That year Senna won 13 points for Toleman which was about to go bankrupt and said goodbye to them. Of course, it couldnít have developed without problems and much dust raising because he was still under contract. But money was of help here - Senna simply bought himself off. He outgrew Toleman faster than he expected and it was time for him to go on, to go forwards. People didnít understand correctly Ayrtonís aspiration always to go forwards. Whole series of words had been used to describe this feature of his personality: for them it was arrogance, intolerance, obsession, incapability to see the things from other peopleís point of view and so on. Thereís one episode from that period, which was written and talked about, that could be used as an illustration. Namely, it is that Ayrton was the only one who didnít manage to find time to visit his wounded teammate Johnny Cecotto then. It was explained that he was too busy getting successful and couldnít be bothered with human feelings. Was it really so?

Ayrton himself said the following about it (when they reminded him again years later that Johnny still hadnít forgiven him):

 

"Yes, I can understand that from his point of view... It was a mistake on my part. I was terribly preoccupied after the crash, but I suppose I just didnít think it would have made such a difference to Johnny if I had gone to see him... Sorry, but one doesnít get everything right."

 

 

Then, at the time, nobody was bothered too much but when a young Toleman driver became SENNA, it suddenly became extremely important. Why didnít Ayrton go to see his colleague? Be assured that he informed himself well about his teammateís condition. At the same time he took upon himself all the obligations concerning racing in the team. And a visit as a mere formality (according to which people are wrongly judged), wasnít in keeping with Ayrton. He didnít need formalities, pretences and embellishments; simplicity was his way, as it is with all truly great people. And when help was necessary and he was able to help he would always do so.

Mark Blundell had once tried to give us his vision of the "other side" of Ayrton, as he called it. Mark realized that Ayrton had left him to find his own transport to the airport (when he didnít allow Joseph Leberer, his fitness coach, to give him a ride), because it was Ayrtonís revenge for being faster than him on testing. To even think such a thing is ridiculous. If it hadnít been for any other alternative and the help had been necessary, Ayrton himself would have sat in the car and taken him to the airport. Ayrton always helped but the situation had to be such that people couldnít solve the problems themselves because he himself would never ask other people for anything as long as he was able to do it by himself. He expected the others to behave in a similar way. And Mark was mistaken again if he had perhaps expected some special sort of amiability out of gratitude for a well-done job. For Ayrton it was understandable by itself that a job should be always done to the best of oneís ability. There was no other way for him, and therefore no need for any special gratitude. That was the real reason Mark was indirectly sent a message to find his own transport and it wasnít some small Sennaís revenge, as it seemed to him.

 

                      

1985-1987 ESTORIL UNDER RAIN

 

The next three years Senna drove for Lotus and won six races. Those were the last victories for Lotus. One of those victories, Ayrton Senna`s first ever F-1 victory, is remembered even today because of his, later so many times written about, "superhuman" abilities to drive under rain. And Senna himself loved this race very much because, except of the first victory, he also won his first pole here. It was the race in Estoril, on 21st April 1985 and that was a very rainy day. Rain is said to have been Senna`s ally because most of the drivers prefer dry track. In wet conditions he out-qualified his competitors. Why?

 

Senna's first victory - Estoril 1985

 

One of the reasons is that he had been practicing a lot in wet conditions. When he realized at a very early age that driving under rain requires special concentration and skill, he decided to master this skill. Wet track was a challenge, because it is an aggravating circumstance for drivers, and he loved challenges. The other reason was that water was  his element. He felt good when it rained, he would get a new impulse for work, and rain suited his nerves. When all this is taken into account, we begin to understand the strength of the "RAIN MAN" and why he was able to drive in "wet races" with so much more superiority than other drivers.

 

    Otherwise it was the time Sennaís whole personality was turned to racing. F-1 became his world, he was giving it everything and he said about it:

 

"Racing is everything for me, it is the challenge of my life, it is a profession and a vocation, a hobby and at the same time a virus that has no cure. I have lost interest in everything else, my soul and my body belong to racing."

 

Monte Carlo 1987

 

And winning the title was a priority to him then: "I hope very much that Iíll be the world champion one day, because winning the title is the only reason Iím racing", he said.

    Those were still his learning years as a professional, as well as a person. There was so much more he needed to learn. He was unremittingly assessing his competitors, asking himself why theyíre doing this or that and when he would "enter their minds", he tried to do everything better and faster. It canít be said that they were thrilled with him because he believed he had the right to take everything he could that he earned by exerting himself. Someone would naturally have to lose and it would be the one who put less effort in it. That was the reason why Ayrton had been using also the smallest opportunity which brought no matter how small, even microscopic improvement. At the same time he was working on himself, he needed to learn how to deal with the media and the public, because his natural, impulsive, inborn honest presentation and language werenít something the world respects or accepts in good faith. It made him angry.

 

"I know myself - I am generally very direct. Because Iím like that some people think Iím puffed up and arrogant. Sometimes that bothers me a bit, because Iím sure Iím not."

 

And almost everybody thought that; the English in F-1 were collectively leading a war against him. They were assaulting him verbally and even physically. For Mansell and his gang Senna was a red scarf... But he was improving and improving despite everything. He said: "I would like to push myself to the limit in everything I do."

 

Imola 1987

 

That was a special quality which couldnít have passed unnoticed. They created a nickname "MAGIC" for him, although no nickname could stay attached to him permanently. The name AYRTON SENNA had more magic about it than any other nickname but maybe we could still single out one, and that is "The Great Brazilian", which suited him best. Lotusís chief engineer Ducarouge, for example, said the following about him then: "Iíve never experienced such a driver, a driver who can give me such information about his car. He has sensors all over. Working with him is a dream for every engineer." Despite it they still werenít able to give him the only thing he was lacking to become world champion in 1987 - a good racing car. Ayrton was great but Lotusís car not any more, therefore it was inevitable for him to move to a new racing team the following year.